The year 2008 has been a thrilling year in Science and an amazing year in Singularity advances, specifically.
What do we have to look forward to in 2009? Here’s a list of the top ten possible developments in 2009 that will take us closer to the Singularity, the point at which humor will be distributed throughout the universe and our sense of humor will become so refined that everything will be funny, perhaps even this list of top ten predictions for 2009.
10. Somewhere, in a parallel universe, the Large Hadron Collider is working great.
9. Roombas new feature allows them complain about tasks.
8. Quantum computing breakthrough matched by breakthrough in Quantum spam, which can be annoying in two places at once.
7. Aging reversal cure causes hopes to soar; unfortunately side effects to new-found youth include naivete, poor fashion choices and saying the word, “like,” a lot.
6. Homeland Security to require extensive weapons checks to prevent grandchildren traveling back into time to kill grandfather.
5. Dark clouds of doom surrounding climatologists will block sun and erase the effect of global warming.
4. Alien contact made. Why aliens would travel across universe and multiple dimensions, bending the time-space continuum, just to implant piece of metal in the thigh of some hillbilly remains a mystery.
3. No Robot Left Behind Act passed to help poorly-performing artificial intelligent units.
2. Mini black holes discovered after lab experiment revealed to just be remains of morning’s donuts.
1. Time travel finally makes idiotic New Year’s prediction lists irrelevant.